A Letter From Santa

Date: December 22, 2008
Posted In: DLP Law

The citizens of Wayne County were somewhat alarmed when they just received a letter from Santa Claus. The letter stated, “I will no longer be able to serve your area on Christmas Eve.” There have been recent changes in my union contract renegotiated by the North American Elves local 404.

I, Mr. Santa Claus, will now only serve Canada, Wisconsin, Michigan and New England.

Do not be concerned, though, because your children will be in good hands with my replacement, my seventh cousin by my second wife, from the South Pole, Bubba Claus. Rest assured my determined goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls, despite a few differences between us. Some of these differences are.

Bubba\’s sleigh is pulled, not by reindeer, buy by floppy eared, flying coon dogs. The last time I lent Bubba a deer, the poor things ended up resting over Bubba\’s fireplace.

Have no fear that the Grinch might steal presents from Bubba as Bubba has a gun rack in his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads, “these toys insured by Smith and Wesson.”

Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave him Dr. Pepper and pork skins on the fireplace. Bubba doesn\’t smoke a pipe. He does dip a little snuff, so please have a spit can handy.

You won\’t hear Bubba yell On Comet, On Cupid, On Donner and Blitzen . . . when Bubba Claus arrives, instead you\’ll hear On Earnhardt, On Wallace, On Martin, hope you crash, Gordon.

You will not hear ho, ho, ho; instead you will hear yehaw, and you are likely to hear Bubba\’s elves respond, “I heard that.”

A word of caution, Bubba doesn\’t wear a seatbelt, you better turn away when he bends over to put presents under the tree. “Plumber\’s cleavage” is not a pretty sight.

Here\’s wishing you all a great holiday season.

Joe Price
Attorney Joe Price is a seasoned Trial Lawyer serving Northeast, Central and Southeast Pennsylvania for the past forty (40) years. He has handled serious personal injury cases in courts throughout the Federal system including New Jersey and New York. Attorney Price is A.V. Rated by Martindale Hubble. He is Board Certified in Civil Practice by the National Board of Trial Advocacy since 1996.